Why Your Mindset Is What It Is…And What You Can Do About It!
In 1998, I went on my first and only blind date.
I had been resisting it for 3 months, but the mutual friend who set up the date was persistent, to say the least.
Blind dates! How . . . Pitiful! Is this what my life had come to? I was so judgmental about the whole concept, but the truth was that my resistance was because this woman sounded like someone I could easily be interested in.
The last thing I wanted was a serious relationship. I had been married (didn’t work out so well) and swore I’d never do it again!
I walked into a little outdoor café for the 1-hour pre-arranged cup of coffee with the obligatory hard-stop. Of course, I had created another appointment to make sure I had an excuse to leave. And there sat a beautiful, intelligent and very direct 40-year old woman.
The conversation was quick.
“Are you Charlsa?” She nodded, “You’re David?” I nodded and took a seat across from her.
After the briefest awkward pause, she looked at me and blurted out, “So, what’s your story?”
I cracked up. I loved her directness. And ended up loving her.
As my wife would say, “What’s your story?”
That really is the purpose of this entire course. We want to tell our stories, convince people to buy our products and create a community around both. Whether you’re a writer, a business person, an athletic trainer, a hobbyist, a realtor, or someone who wants to escape the life you’ve built so far, you’ve got to have a story. And that story is your experience. It’s your wisdom.
It’s an asset!
Introductions are in order.
Hi, I’m David Perdew.
But you know that already. I have a long and checkered history. If you want the resume version, I’ll post it later. But the bullets are:
- Born: New Castle, IN., 1952, in a loving but flawed working class family (aren’t they all?)
- Lived there till I was 18 when I joined the Air Force
- Married when I was 19
- Three children (all over 30 — Good Lord, how did I get so old!)
- Graduated from Indiana University in Journalism in 1978
- Divorced 1984
- Worked in the newspaper business as a photo editor, magazine editor and copy editor until 1989. Left the Atlanta Journal & Constitution in 1989 as Director of Photography
- Started my stock photography agency in 1989
- Married again in 1990
- Sold stock agency in 1995
- Divorced again in 1996
- Changed careers to information technology in 1996 as a programmer
- Became a project manager / consultant in 1997
- Sold my car and bought a 1997 Harley Davidson in 1997 as my only mode of transportation for two years
- Married again in 1998
- Spent 20 years as a successful independent corporate consultant
Ok, there’s my life boiled down to 16 facts — but that’s only part of my story.
Here’s my story
A big part of my story is about money. It’s the measure of success in this country. I was sucked into that vortex for years. The larger my checkbook balance, the better I felt. If it was close to (or God forbid – below) zero, I went into a depression. Not because I had money problems, but because my self-worth was tied directly to the number of zeros following the number 1. It was insane.
And it finally took me the only place it could – all the way to the bottom. The bullet that says “Divorced again in 1996” is directly tied to that bottom. My beliefs about money were driving my life.
My mindset was my biggest struggle. That’s why I think it SO important to focus on our mindset from the start. We’ll attack those beliefs – mine and yours – in a later section today.
Here’s the blessing in that crash: There’s an unexpected freedom at the bottom.
It becomes a reference point never to be forgotten for the rest of your life. It becomes a touchstone for gratitude. When times are rough, I tell myself, “Whew, I’m so grateful I’m not there any longer.” And I know that I never have to go back. But I also know that no matter how difficult things get, I can survive.
That’s a great discovery! Much of the fear that drove my life lessened, if not disappeared. Fear of loss, fear of not being enough, fear of disappointing others – all became my reality, no longer imagined. I experienced loss, not being enough and truly disappointed many others. And there’s such freedom in knowing that from the bottom you can only go up!
The greater gift is knowing that you get to choose your bottom. You don’t have to be penniless and homeless like I had become. You can say that from today forward, I’ll go no lower. I accept responsibility for my life.
The key to an incredible mindset – and business – is personal responsibility!
My life is a pure gift that has continually improved since 1995. Astounding things have happened. Great miracles and wonderful opportunities. Sounds like I’ve got it licked now? Not by a long shot, but I do have a perspective on my life that is huge and that I’m very comfortable with.
I haven’t had a real paycheck since 1989.
A paycheck is a trap. It makes you think the world will protect and save you. Nothing could be further from the truth. As Joe Vitale says in The Attractor Factor (go ahead and buy the book – I’ll reference it a gazillion times):
“The hardest concept for most people to grasp is that they are the sole reason they are experiencing whatever they have in their lives. They are totally responsible.”
Whew! He didn’t say partially responsible. He didn’t say one of the reasons. Don’t look around. He’s talking to you. He said you are responsible for whatever you have in your life.
Yes but . . .
Stop right there. This is a key concept. That’s what every bottom-dweller learns, or they stay on the bottom.
I am responsible for changing my life.
No one else is.
And I can only change one life – mine. Not my wife’s, my son’s, my parents’ or my boss’s. Changing my life is my business. It’s my job and it’s my only job.
MyNAMS training is built around this concept. Memorize it! Cut it out and put it on your refrigerator.
This web business stuff is not easy. It’s simple. But not easy.
Don’t let anyone kid you. Without persistence, nothing will happen. This is a business and must be treated like a new business. That’s what the entire MyNAMS Step-by-Step training is all about: Helping you move from beginner to advanced online business person.
We’ll be thorough, sometimes too thorough. The structure of this course is such that you can attack any topic at anytime, but we really encourage you to go through it methodically from start to finish.
Now, tell me who you are
Go to the forums and introduce yourself if you haven’t already. If you’ve given us the facts, we want more.
- What do you do?
- Who do you love?
- What’s important to you?
- Where do you live? (Not looking for a street address, just a part of the world )
- What do you want from this course?