We’re never supposed to admit this…

I’m struggling today.

And there’s really no good reason for it. I can’t point to anything and say, “Oh, if only that hadn’t happened!” or “If only that had gone the way I wanted it to…”

Nothing is wrong. And nothing is right. It’s all in my head.

I had a very close friend, now deceased for 4 years, that used to call that “having the mulliegrubs”. Today, I’ve got the mulliegrubs.

My brain is not wired like everyone else’s (or maybe it is, I don’t know…), but I know that I have to work very hard at staying positive so that those little niggling doubts and worries don’t come tumbling in.

It’s been much easier for me over the past 15 years since I’ve built more faith in my life. But some days, it’s tough. I don’t suffer from depression. Mine is not a chemical imbalance. I suffer from self-pity, pathetic, debilitating, disgusting, ridiculous, unwarranted self-pity.

I’m a pretty positive guy with a great work ethic, but sometimes… well…

So, this morning, when I felt this coming on, I posted on Facebook in the Internet Marketing Super Friends group this little snippet:

[font family=”Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif” size=”11″ color=”333333″ textshadow=”0″ alignment=”left” weight=”normal” style=”normal” lineheight=”110″]How do you stay so damn positive!?

I get up every morning and read stuff that gets my mind right for about 45 minutes. Sometimes, that’s inspirational, spiritual, or “positive” books. Sometimes, it’s a biography – especially like historical – of someone who has had transformational moments in their life like Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington. Or more contemporary folks like Steve Jobs, Warren Buffet, or others…

But this morning I read that our lives are the cumulative totals of our plus and minus thoughts – positive and negative. Like putting a drop of clear water in a glass of dirty water, we can clean up our mind by dripping positive thoughts throughout the day.

Some people just seem to have this nailed.

How do you do it, if you do? And if not, why not?[/font]

Paul Evans, one of our NAMS rock star instructors, responded with a link to this post on his blog. It was just what I need!

He gave me permission to reprint it here.

Why I Am Happy 92% of the Time

Guest Post by Paul Evans

It might be a little higher than 92%, but I didn’t want to brag. And I am not afraid at all for you to talk to any of my friends and family to find out if I am telling the truth.

It’s said that happiness is based on circumstances, while joy is based in the Holy Spirit. Joy is NOT determined by circumstances. We can all have it regardless of our situation.

However, I AM talking about being happy.  This is about creating circumstances that produce happiness.

In order to get and stay happy some nouns  (people, places and things) may have to change. More importantly, you may have to change (I know I did!)

Before getting to the 6 Habits of Ridiculous Happiness here’s a quick test to help you determine if you have the raw materials necessary to make happiness easier.

Personal Happiness Test: Do you feel that a lot of life happens TO you? Or do you feel that a lot of life happened BECAUSE of you?

If you answered TO, then you’re going to have a tough time being happy. You most likely have a “victim” mindset. Nothing goes your way. The world is against you. You’re self-focused.

If you answered BECAUSE, then you’re going to have an easy time being happy. You most likely have a “contributor” mindset. A lot just seems to go your way. The world is waiting for your next action. You are others-focused.

The good news is that every TO person can become a BECAUSE person. Every BECAUSE person can become a BE-CAUSE person. This will help…

6 Habits of Ridiculous Happiness

Habit #1: Love.

Loved by God. John 3:16. I take that verse very seriously (and I don’t take much seriously at all).

It seems like a lot of folks on the planet are searching for acceptance. John 3:16 takes care of that. That makes me happy. (Of course you have to accept this truth. If you keep making that “why I’m worthless” list you’re never gonna have a permanent smile.)

Love others.  You may recognize this as “the second commandment.” Loving others makes you happier. You think about people and smile. You look for ways to carry out…

Habit #2: Helping Others

This is a BIG key to happiness. When we serve others I’m convinced it releases some sort of happy chemical. Doing something cool or sweet for someone unleashes a wave of goodness. You can…

Help an old lady get her groceries in her car.

Give a smile to the cashier.

Serve in a local mission or soup kitchen.

Sponsor an orphan.

Write a thank you note.

Leave a gigantic tip. (I did this at Waffle House last week and the waitress screamed so loud I could hear her at my car.)

Warning: there will be times when you serve and get rejected. The old lady might hit you with her cane. The cashier might give you the one finger wave. The waitress might take your tip and say, “It’s about time.”

Happiness is about the action you take, not the response you get.

Helping Others is something we all CAN and SHOULD do everyday to be happier. If you’re self-centered I think you deserve to be miserable.

Habit #3: Laughter.

I love to laugh and love to help other people laugh. If you want to be happier, you need to get funnier. Or at least get a sense of humor if you don’t have one.

One of the best things about Facebook is the number of funny sayings, images and video that are shared. You don’t have to be funny. On Facebook others can be funny for you.

Certainly you need to be able laugh at yourself. Most of my keynote speeches open with a segment called, “The Advantages of Being Short.” I make fun of myself while clearly pointing out that tall people will all be my height one day. We all have a good time and folks find out that I’m not some serious speaker that’s come to drain them of life through boredom.

How can you help others laugh more?

Habit #4: Work.

If you HATE your work it’s gonna be tough to be happy. Hate and happy just don’t go together. They’re not good dance partners.

On the other hand, if you love your work and who you work with and who you work for it’s much easier to be happy.

“Paul, you don’t know my boss. He’s a real jerk! You’d be miserable to if he was your commander.”

Go back to Habit #2. If you can’t beat them; serve them.

Heads up: If you’ve hated every job you’ve ever had you must find the problem. What’s the ONE thing all those jobs had in common…. Ah… YOU!

Since you can’t fire yourself, make yourself better and your work will be better. And you’ll be happier.

Habit #5: Wiring.

Worry kills happiness.

OK, I’ve got an advantage here. I’ve never been a worrier. Some of my friends are though. I’ve seen them in mental wrestling matches with the great “What If?” The matches can go on for days, even weeks.

I knew I could never compete with them in the arena, so I decided not to worry. I mean some of these folks are real pros!!!

I’m not a psychologist so I can’t make you stop worrying. And I don’t know a magic formula – but I do recommend you go to YouTube and type in “Bob Newhart Stop It.” That might help.

Habit #6 Quit.

I’m a quitter. I say that with no shame. Any job or activity that made me sad long-term I quit. That’s right. I did not battle through. Did not stay the course. I quit.

Noooooo….. don’t start quitting everything. You can’t just up and quit your job, but…

You can quit things that don’t help with happiness.

Quit smoking so you’ll be healthier.

Quit eating out so much so you’ll be wealthier.

There are a lot of things we could quit immediately that would help, right?

Why not make a list? During the week when you feel blah or sad write down why. Then determine if you can change what’s creating that feeling. If you can, then do it.

A caution here, though. It’s not about OUR happiness. People have done a lot of dumb, hurtful and harmful things in pursuit of happiness. Our happiness is not to come at the sacrifice or damage of others.

What’s keeping you from being happy?

Live Your Mission,
Paul Evans