Novice to Advanced Marketing System

NAMS | Building an Online Business to Support Your Dreams

This is My Story

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“That’s Easy for YOU! You Already Have a Big Business Online, But That Won’t Work for Me!”

If I had a nickel for every time someone used that excuse with me why they can’t get a break online…

Listen, I have a good business now, but it wasn’t always that way.

In fact, I struggled for years. And even today, it’s not always easy.

It’s always a challenge to improve any business.

When I worked for Gannett Newspapers many years ago, that company had more than 72 quarters of consecutive revenue growth.

And that is absolutely amazing for any business, but especially a big corporation.

Growth is only surpassed by one thing: Cash flow.

Cash flow is ALWAYS the key to making sure your business doesn’t bury you in a mountain of stressful debt. If you have massive billings but tiny collections, growth may seem large.

But if you can’t pay your bills because cash is never there, business failure is around the corner.

That’s why I fell in love with the online business model. The difference between billings and cash are pretty negligible.

Sell something, get paid for it right then. That’s my kind of business.

In the beginning, selling enough to replace the income you need is your goal.

That is quickly followed by selling enough to grow and buy a little security.

Which is quickly displaced by selling enough to create a sustainable cash machine.

Notice, the common word in those three statements previously is “selling.” That’s what we do.

Unfortunately, selling is what I liked to do least, so…

When people say, “I don’t like to sell like you…” or “Business doesn’t really interest me, I just want to [insert topic or service here],” I cringe a little.

“If they only knew how hard it was for me to get started,” I think to myself.

So, I decided I’d tell you. This has not been a picnic. But it’s been a rewarding challenge and a lot of fun along the way.

Let’s start with my online business desire…

I’ve always been an entrepreneur, even though I wouldn’t really admit that for years. When I was a kid, I sold cards, seeds, magazines and newspapers door-to-door.

That’s how I bought my bicycle, got a baseball glove and a bat. Whatever sales opportunity was in the back of Boys’ Life magazine, that’s the one I jumped on.

Then, when I was 14 I got a job in a car wash. And next, at 16, I became a shoe dog, selling shoes at B&B Shoes in New Castle, IN all through high school.

But it wasn’t selling. It was making money. That’s how I saw it.

Before NAMS, I had several other businesses: The Henry County News Republican (as in our country is a republic, not a political affiliation) weekly newspaper, Stock South stock photography agency, and Maximize Communications – an independent consulting firm.

Then, I fell into the Internet.

This week, a book publisher asked me to contribute about how I got started online by answering these questions.

Q: How did you come up with the idea for your business?

I’ve had several businesses in my life, some successful some not. But I’ve always been an entrepreneur at heart even when I was working in the corporate world.

So, in 2003 I took a year off from my consulting business with one of the largest corporations in the world to build a house on 100 acres of land in North Alabama. It was a log house, and it had always been a dream of mine to build one using my own two hands.

From a hole in the ground to finishing the roof during that year long period I had a lot of time to think as well.

And because I worked in technology as a consultant, I understood the way the world was moving connecting digital technology with the Internet business world. I saw massive opportunities there

because the low-cost to build a business online.

My expertise in the consulting world was a powerful belief in solving problems, and the ability to build strong relationships. My primary job as a consultant was to make sure my clients always looked great in their boss’s eyes, and that I always was the one who got the blame for any problems.

I took the arrows. My clients always got the treasure.

Any business that I created online would need to solve specific problems as well as protect my customers.

And of course, we know that good businesses-all good businesses-solve problems. Otherwise, there’s no business there.

But I knew nothing at that time about doing business online. So, I found the best online business training program that I could, and it happen to be produced by Corey Rudl.

He was the godfather of Internet marketing until his death in an auto racing accident in 2005.

I studied that course at night while building my house during the day to understand niche marketing, and that meant understanding desperate problems with simple solutions.

Since I was in the consulting world and the newspaper business for 25 years prior to building my house, I realized I could use my content creation skills with my business training skills to create a solid business.

And that’s always been my focus.

Q: What was your first big breakthrough on your path to success?

The most important thing I ever did was get honest about my skill level.

In the beginning, I was at the beginning.

But I wanted to use my writing and storytelling skills to create my first business.

So, I decided that I would write a book about parenting called Bad Dad: 10 Keys to Regaining Trust.  It was about building relationships with your kids after you have pretty much destroyed those relationships – like I had.

It sounds like I was creating a niche book, but in reality, I was creating my first training program for business owners.

I had no list, no product, no following, and no idea how to accomplish any of this.

But I thought that I could not be alone with my dream of building an online business by turning my experience into a product.

I ran an ad in Writer’s Digest magazine for $600 basically explaining that I was a former newspaper editor who was going to create an e-book and a business around that e-book, that I was starting from scratch, and with scant knowledge about how to do this.

The call-to-action? “If that describes you, follow me, watch me make the mistakes and see my progress for free.”

All that was required was to optin to my “course.”

Before the ad, I had zero people on my list. Within a week, I had 750 people following me through my year-long process of building my first business online.

That first training business was called The 60 Day Experiment.  It has since been retired, but the result of the book is still available Bad-Dad.com.

The proof was in the process of learning, doing, and telling other people about it.

Basically, my business model has always been “If you look over my shoulder, I’ll show you how to do something, and how not to do it.”

And it still works for me today.

Q: How long did it take you to earn enough money to quit your job and become 100% digitally free?

I gave up my consulting contracts after 5 years.

I was maintaining three offices in Atlanta, Dallas and Seattle when I finally quit the traveling to focus 100% on my business.

But it wasn’t easy.

With nearly $250,000 in annual contracts, I was making a big leap into a net that I could not see.

I hadn’t replaced my income by any means, but I was doing well enough to  commit to working on my business at home versus traveling all the time.

NAMS was a going concern at that point. In fact, I’d done 6 NAMS Workshops and growing the attendance to nearly 300 people every six months at that point.

It really was becoming too much for me to handle while I was on the road so much.

It was proof to me that entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart, but if you want it, you can have it.

Q: What was the biggest failure, waste of time or money, or most embarrassing mistake you made along the way?

I think failure is an ugly, negative word for awesome opportunities to learn positive steps in challenging situations.

One of my “secrets” is to fail fast and don’t make the same mistake.

I like to say that I have never had a problem in my life.

Every problem I’ve ever had was the stepping stone to the next big win. Too many people see a challenge, and quit.

That’s the only failure that anyone can make that counts because it’s permanent.

For example, during one of our workshops, our website was hacked and held for ransom by a Jordanian criminal.

At first, I was desperate and scared. But once we stopped the bleeding, I saw that my mistake in that whole mess was that I was not running a secure enough website.

The lesson from that mistake (and it cost us about $75,000), was to create a much more secure operation.

I enlisted the help of some very smart people, another big lesson.

But was that a failure? By financial standards, yes.

Was that embarrassing? Absolutely.

The result, though, has been much greater than the $75,000 I lost during that episode because I don’t make the same mistake twice (if I can help it).

Q: What is the single most effective tactic you discovered to grow your business?

You can’t run a business successfully without two things:

1.     Dumping everything that doesn’t work, and dumping it quickly. That’s the only way you can get clear on success paths, without cluttering up your life with distractions.

2.     Mastering sales funnels that convert. You can get all the traffic in the world, but if your sales funnel doesn’t convert, its wasted money.

Q: What advice would you give someone wanting to achieve similar success?

Don’t handicap your success by limiting the investment you put into your business, health, relationships, money, and your spiritual well-being.

I spent $22,000 on $27 products before I made a nickel online. I thought that I could get the answers and the skills that I needed without investing in real solutions. That was a huge mistake.

I needed a coach and mentor to guide me along the way, and when I discovered that, I never looked back. I’ve had a coach every day since 2007.

This was my story; yours will be different!

But without clarity of purpose, without an attitude that declares nothing will stop you, without a clear understanding of your purpose and your guiding principles, you can’t succeed.

So, the opposite is true. If you have those things, you can’t fail.

That’s why we focus on the one thing around the MyNAMS Insiders Club. And it’s your one thing. I’ve got mine. We need to help you discover yours so you can stay on track at all times.

Join the Insiders Club today to get started with a 14-Day $1 trial.

Surround yourself with success.

Are you a ‘Starter’ or a ‘Finisher’?

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 When he called me out from the stage and answered my question with this (true) statement, it really ticked me off … But it was a turning point in my business life!

He was talking about content creation and productivity. You know, getting stuff done.

Sitting in the first row, I whined, “Yes, but my problem is that I have too many ideas and too little time with a dozen projects, and all of them about 80 percent complete.”

He looked me square in the eye, and said, “You, my friend, are a STARTER, not a FINISHER.”

In front of God, and the other 50 people in that room, he had announced my number one issue, put a neon flashing light around it, and hung on the off ramp in Austin, TX for everyone to see.

I was a wannabe, not a doer.

And I knew it.

And I was not happy about it.

But I heard it - loud and clear.

And I couldn’t get it out of my head.

That was Craig Perrine who called me out. He’s a nice guy, but he didn’t pull any punches either.

I was expecting some coddling. He was having none of that.

startfinishheader

“You, my friend, are a STARTER, not a FINISHER!”

Embarrassed? You bet.

Hurt? Absolutely.

Angry? Oh, you have no idea.

Motivated? Like you wouldn’t believe. I would never, ever be called a non-FINISHER again.

And that one statement led me to earn my first $1000 online in just 3 days. But that was 10 years ago.

Now, I earn more than that in half a day…

So, how did being humiliated publicly at a marketing event motivate me to be successful?

First, I’m sure Craig didn’t mean to humiliate me. I was humiliating myself.

Stick with me and I’ll tell you the story.

I bet you’ll see a bit of yourself here. And if you do, I hope you’ll let me be the one who kicks your butt a little so you too can make that big jump to becoming successful...

From 2003 to 2005, maybe one of the longest periods of my life, I had decided that I might start doing business online.

Notice, I wasn’t fully committed, even though I thought I was.

I read, studied, listened and totally immersed myself in learning the processes behind making money online.

Learning…

But not doing…

Well, doing just enough to stay in the game, but not really enough to put myself out there and compete on the playing field.

This was not the first time I bailed on a project because of “fear of completion.”

It's Easy To Start. Not So Easy To Finish. And Really Easy To Quit

My dream was big. . .make enough money to quit my corporate consulting gig and build an online, multi-million-dollar publishing empire.

That seemed out of reach to me, even though I met people everyday who were chucking the daily grind for The Portable Empire as Pat O’Bryan was calling it back then.

Yet, I couldn’t make enough to support my habit of buying way too many ebooks, software tools and memberships. Discouraged, I was fast becoming broke.

My wife, ever the brilliant one, said, “David, when is enough? You know enough already.”

My thinking shifted because Craig Perrine had the brass to tell me the truth.  And the truth was just enough to jump me into the $1000-per-week success crowd long ago.

He’s a really nice guy.

Cherubic face with fair skin and sandy blonde hair, he had a happy, go-lucky perpetual little-boy look. Soft-spoken and professionally dressed in a navy blue suit back then, you wouldn’t expect him to break your heart.

But he broke mine… and thank goodness for that.

Craig was one of the featured speakers at Pat O’Bryan’s UnSeminar in 2005 or 2006 along with Joe Vitale, Bill Hibbler, Jillian Coleman, Nerissa Oden and Ray McNally.

Known as a master listbuilder, I expected Craig to talk about the usual ways of driving traffic to your site: PPC campaigns, joint ventures, affiliate programs, working the forums, and setting up squeeze pages.

But he surprised me by talking about relationships.

Those were the Wild West days of Internet Marketing when almost anyone could build a list and use it as your personal ATM machine to extract money. Or at least, that what they said.

Focusing on relationships to build your business seemed...unnecessary.

But Craig specialized in being personal and real with his subscribers. They knew him – and his family -- because of his writing.

So, when he stepped to the stage and began talking about the inner game of marketing – you know, getting your mind right and fighting your own self-limiting demons before you try to convince potential buyers that you’ve got it all together -- I was all ears.

This was exactly what I’d been struggling with for a couple of years.

And it surprised me to hear someone so successful talking so openly about it. From my seat in the front row, I felt like he was talking to me, his newest friend.

I could confide in him … he seemed so sympathetic and gentle.

“I am so confused and scattered,” I said. “I’ve got so many projects started...”

Listen readers, I hear you.

With a gazillion marketers coming at you with a thousand, panting, “gotta-have-this-now” messages, you may feel like I did that if you didn’t read each e-mail or buy each tool, you’d miss the one that contained the secret.

Surely Craig would share the secret key that would unlock the vault to online riches!

He was my new friend.

We’d made a connection.

Instead, he told me what I didn’t want to hear.

It was me. All me. Nobody else. Me.

His answer really ticked me off...

No Guru, no coach, no program, no software - nothing would help me build my online business until two things happened:

  1. I had to DECIDE that I wanted to build a business and be committed to it, and…
  2. I had to become a STARTER and a FINISHER.

Remember, I had made very few sales because I had nothing to put in the marketplace.

But Craig’s admonition motivated me to make some serious changes.

The result was $1112 in three days.

That was my first $1000 week.

I’d made some money here and there, but nothing consistent, concentrated or predictable.

After spending nearly $22,000 on ebooks, programs, software, and teleseminars, and becoming discouraged and dog-tired, I began to believe that online marketing was a hoax.

The $1000 week changed that too. It was followed by another $1000 week!

That’s great, but it wasn’t life-changing money. I wanted life-changing money!

Craig wasn’t the only player in my personal drama.

Mark Hendricks was another. My first mentor, Mark helped me tremendously.

About the same time as Craig was delivering the truth, I had asked Mark, “When am I going to make money?”

In typical fashion, and like any good coach, he responded to my question with his own question.

“When will you decide?”

I was armed with two challenges, both of them containing the exact truth I needed to hear when I was ready to hear it.

And I’ll always be grateful for both of those guys. But I’m truly grateful that I was able to hear it and not run from it.

When I asked people their level of commitment today, the standard answer is that I’m absolutely committed.

But in reality, most people don’t even know what that means.

Being committed means that you’re willing to be in the game for the long haul, that you’re willing to listen to the people who’ve been there and done it before you, and that you’re willing, above everything, to be teachable -- NO MATTER WHAT.

If you fail, you learn from it and try again.

If you get discouraged, talk to someone who can help you out of it.

If you don’t know the answer to a technical issue, you learn how to use Google to figure it out.

If you’re confused about your purpose, you create a roadmap to success that reflects who you are at your core.

No matter what, you never give up. You may adjust. You may adapt. You may even get a job to improve your finances. You may even keep your job because you want more consistency in your finances.

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Do You Need To Get Your Business Started Right now?

Our full workshop, Fast Business Star Up Workshop, is THE program you need to get your business working for you right now! 

Yes, I need this!

But you’ll never give up. That’s commitment.

One of my favorite movies from the 1980s is Body Heat with William Hurt (as Ned Racine),  Kathleen Turner (as Matty Walker), and Richard Crenna (as Edmund Walker).

Ned is obsessed with Matty, but Matty is married to Edmund Walker. Luckily, Edmund travels a lot, and Ned and Matty find a lot of time together.

In a scene that I’ll never forget, Ned walks into a restaurant because he sees Matty and is invited to sit with she and the man who turns out to be her husband, Walker.

This is the conversation (From Lawrence Kasdan’s 1980 screenplay, Body Heat):

 WALKER
 You wouldn't believe the dorkus she
 was with when I met her. The guy
 came to us with a business
 proposition. We're always looking
 for opportunities. If the conditions
 are right. We're willing to take an
 occasional risk, if the downside
 isn't too steep. But this guy hadn't
 done his homework, he didn't know
 the bottom line. That's how I knew
 he was full of it. You've got to
 know the bottom line. That's all
 that really counts...

Again Walker takes off his glasses. He holds them up to the light and then rubs them again with his handkerchief.

WALKER
He didn't have the goods, this guy.
He was like a lot of guys you run
into -- they want to get rich, they
want to do it quick, they want to be
there with one score.

He puts his glasses back on, stares at Racine.

WALKER
But they're not willing to do what's
necessary. Do you know what I mean?

Racine looks at him in silence for a moment.

RACINE
I'm not sure. You mean, lay the
groundwork? Earn it?
WALKER
No. I mean do what's necessary.
Whatever's necessary.

After that conversation, Racine was willing to do whatever was necessary. Watch the movie to find out what that was… I won’t spoil it for you. It's a great movie.

Until I was called a STARTER, I was not willing to do what was necessary!

So when people come to me frustrated, moaning about their situation, I do have a lot of sympathy for them, because I’ve been there and I understand how terrible it feels.

But the biggest gift you can get is the truth.

And that someone must be the person who puts the truth in your face just as it was put in my face.

If you’re not willing to put in the work, to do whatever is necessary to be successful, then it’s not going to happen.

And that’s the truth.

Doing business today, online or offline, is not easy. Most people will tell you that it is.

I won’t.

The easy thing is to always give up.

Those who don’t are the winners.

They are the ones who go to the bank every week and increase their account with this week’s earnings of $10, $100, $1000, and more.

Comment below if you have a different idea about commitment or an experience that has enabled you to see the truth.

 

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NO ONE else is doing things online like you guys are doing it...You guys are building and teaching what I want to learn how to do with my online efforts...Today I saw the future!"

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I have wandered around blindly for over 4 years wondering why things weren't working...the things y'all teach are not being taught elsewhere. Instead, the advice is vague and leaves you feeling stupid because you're not figuring it out.

I cannot say enough good things...the only problem is that there's so much good stuff that I don't want to sleep b/c I want to learn it all.

 
I'm beginning to feel like a plan is forming and that I might actually make things work.

If you’ve been putting off building your online business, STOP IT NOW!

There’s no better time than right now to get started.

The key is to finish what you’ve intended to do for years - build that online income stream that protects your assets in uncertain times.

And get it done - fast.

I read something by Gaylon McDowell in Science of Mind magazine this week that hit me like a ton of bricks:

“Results matter because I believe human beings can and often do create self-delusion around intention, action and results. Sometimes people lie to themselves about where they are in consciousness because they don’t want to evaluate the results they are getting.”

...evaluate the results they are getting...

You can’t think yourself into success. You must act to be successful.

If you’re not willing to act, then this course is not for you.

But if you understand the importance of taking action in the right sequence with the right guidance on the right opportunities, then I want to introduce you to Fast Business Start Up. Click now and take a look at the immediate results our members are getting from this program!

YES, I'm Ready To Finally Get My Business Started!
Jen Perdew

The Novice to Advanced Marketing System is a step-by-step system focusing on Team, Training and Tools to help novice to advanced business people build a Simple, Scalable and Sustainable business.

Founded by David Perdew over 15 years ago, he recently retired and his daughter, Jen Perdew, who has been working at NAMS since 2011 purchased the business.

Jen is now the President and CEO of NAMS and comes from a customer service, operations, and employee training background.

Jen has always loved digging in and getting her hands dirty with automation and coaching. Jen's an implementer and focuses on moving her clients as quickly as possible down the path to success. and has since taken over most of the technical training in the business. NAMS is one of the most successful online communities today, specializing in training and proprietary productivity software tools.

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Marketer or Entrepreneur?

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Be Honest, Not Stupid!

Even though we seem to live in a fact free society, we have to remember that our biggest asset as entrepreneurs is our integrity and that dishonesty comes with a very severe price…

When I was 22 years old, my dad and I were walking on the beach in Siesta Key, FL where we had vacationed since I was 12 and we were talking about my future.

Having just started college a second time after a military stint, he was curious what I wanted to do with my life.

I said I was interested in politics and thought maybe I’d become a politician.

My dad, ever the straight shooter, said, “Hell David, why don’t you just buy a whorehouse and be done with it.”

He held politicians in low regard for one reason only – they never told the truth.

Dishonesty was the biggest sin in his life. And politicians were the biggest sinners.

This is not political, so don’t leave political comments!

We just went through one of the strangest elections in our country’s history. It was one of the most negative and divisive. It was also one of the most dishonest.

politifacthonestyAccording to Pulitzer prize-winning Politifact.com, Hillary Clinton told lies or half-truths 49.5% of the time while Donald Trump told half-truths or lies 84.6% of the time.

Facts, it seems, no longer mattered.

And the more outrageous and emphatic the story, the more a part of the culture became.

We’ll be debating the results of this election for decades because it was a masterful demonstration of marketing by Donald Trump.

Now before you get all excited, and want to scream the pros and cons of your candidates, this post is about marketing.

Let’s look at the pros and cons of that!

Candidates as Marketers

Trump had a near perfect message-to-market match. He understood the language his constituency was using and was able to parrot it back to them so that they trusted him, even though the evidence of untrustworthiness was heavy against him.

Even he said, “I could shoot someone in the middle of fifth Avenue and the public would still vote for me.”

He so thoroughly understood his market, that he was able to predict a “silent Trump” vote that no one else believed existed.

What do we learn as marketers?

  1. Find a problem.
  2. Learn the language.
  3. Use that language in your sales copy to offer the exact solution your prospects are looking for…

Kudos to Trump, a master of marketing.

Hillary, on the other hand, completely missed her market and the message.

She was so confident about the “Blue Wall”, an historically reliable line of Democratic states, that she completely ignore the problem the market was screaming about.

She missed it so badly that she didn’t even visit Wisconsin, a traditionally Democratic state. Yet, the voters in Wisconsin turned out in droves to vote against for her rival because they related to Trump’s message.

Clinton and the Democratic Party along with all the pollsters and all of the news pundits were blindsided by the final results in a victory that was a surprise to everyone except possibly Trump’s folks.

Lesson # 1:  In marketing, facts DO matter

Thankfully, the rules of marketing are more predictable than the rules of politics.

Incentive trap and corrupt leader business concept as a group of people running towards a carrot tied to a liar nose only to have been tricked and fooled into fall off a cliff as a metaphor for entrapment or bait trapping in a risky economy.

If we online business folks are trying to sell a product, we rely on the Know, Like and Trust axiom to work every time. It’s as simple as getting the prospects in your target market to:

  • Know who you are
  • Like you and your product
  • Trust you to do right by them

That doesn’t seem to hold true in politics since very few people admitted liking or trusting either candidate.

And don’t we agree that being honest is the key to gaining trust?

Let’s assume that Politifact got the truth index correct.

Remember, Clinton lied 49.5% of the time while Donald Trump told lies 84.6% of the time.

What’s astounding about that? They both lied more than half the time they opened their mouths.

If there had been a truly trustworthy candidate in the race, he or she may have walked away with it.

Trust is an extremely important part of the conversion process.

Lesson # 2:  Hacks, Loopholes, and Fads do not a business make

I still believe, even after a campaign where facts were abandoned like a stack of 1984 floppy disks, it’s incredibly important to always be honest with your market.

Otherwise, your credibility goes out the window. (Unfortunately, politicians have no credibility to begin with!)

When that’s gone, conversions suffer quickly.

But in today’s world of flashy marketers who spin tales of exaggerated riches and push-button solutions, it’s really hard to dig out the honest claims from the dishonest.

Too often, it’s too late when we find out the truth. Our money is gone, and our results using the product are nil.

But it only happens once. What’s that old saying?

Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me!

In the Wild West days of Internet Marketing – you know, like 5 to 10 years ago – a lot of people made a lot of money with smoke and mirrors.  bigstock-137612624

Basically, they were selling the promise of fast cash to people who had more hope than they did sense. In my early days, I was one of those.

I bought a lot of stuff that focused on the latest fad. And of course, the marketing fad of the day didn’t work, or the “hack” was too complicated, or “loophole” had been closed.

But in the Internet Marketing shakeout around 2010-2013, the one-trick pony marketers found they couldn’t sustain their businesses, because they didn’t have one.

They had a marketing scheme.

And marketing schemes cause entire markets to distrust anyone who labels themselves as a “marketer”.

I urge you, no I beg you — never call yourself an Internet Marketer. Don’t even call yourself a marketer!

You’re a business person. You’re an entrepreneur. You’re a problem solver.

Small business people have one of the most noble callings on the planet: Serving others.

Lesson # 3:  Always be honest; never be stupid.

I learned my lesson when I was just a skinny 18-year old kid, sitting in a classroom on the 17th day of basic training at Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio, TX.

It was hot, as only hot can be on August 15th in South Texas.

Basic training is not all push-ups, marching and gunnery drills. There is much classroom work. So we weren’t surprised to be in a classroom.

But this day with special.

A man walked in wearing civilian clothes and sporting a flattop haircut with shaved sides. He said he was a city social worker, and had a short questionnaire to determine what kind of people the Air Force brought into San Antonio.

The first question was:

“Have you ever experimented with marijuana?”

Now my dad had taught me to be honest no matter what. “Always own your mistakes,” he said,  “and answer truthfully.”

Being young, naïve, and having just finished my first year of college, I checked the “yes” box, filling in the notes below and confessing to having smoked grass one time on one weekend while I was in college.

The next day, I was required to see the commander who sent me to the chaplain, a psychiatrist, and then the narcotics officer who told me that even though I had received the highest scores possible on the aptitude tests in the four major career categories, I would have a job pushing a broom in the lowest career category.

I protested, “I was guaranteed electronics, and if I don’t get it you have to let me out.”

The narcotics officer said, “You think they don’t push a broom in an electronics shop?”

And that’s what I did for the next four years, essentially, after he stamped my personnel card with “DRUG ABUSER”.

My drill sergeant, Tech Sgt. Ennis, dragged me to the commander’s office and pleaded with the colonel, “This is a good troop,” he said, “and he was more stupid than he was honest.”

I’ll never forget Tech Sgt. Ennis for a couple of reasons:

  1. He scared the crap out of me
  2. He taught me that lesson – be honest but not stupid

What did he mean by being honest, but not stupid?

Although he was encouraging me to not be so honest, I really think it means to be aware of the consequences.

When you can be honest even when you know the consequences will be dire, integrity should never be questioned.

So, why or when should we focus on not being stupid?

If we think about the consequences of our actions BEFORE we take the action, then we can always be honest without ever feeling stupid.

Unfortunately for us, both of our candidates, the media’s talking heads, and the pollsters all are feeling a little stupid after this election…

If you’re interested in how to create a scalable sustainable business check out the MyNAMS Insiders Club.

This is where we do the work, test the results, build businesses and support our community.

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Reinvention through Clarity

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The Decision Was Not So Easy: A Bullet to the Head or Change Everything in My Life!

When everything was at it’s worst, I made a decision to reinvent myself. Even though I wasn’t sure how to get it, I knew what I wanted…

In 1995, I sat in a rented room with the door closed, staring at a rifle resting against the wall.depressedmanholdinghead

I didn’t think I had much to live for in those first few months after my third business and second marriage died. I was convinced that my three children would be better off without me.

The problem: My big insurance policy was relatively new, and I knew that my kids would receive nothing if I off’d myself before the end of 1996.

I couldn’t leave them with nothing. Even though I’d given them nothing of myself for the past 10 years, that just didn’t seem right. I’d have to wait.

Where do these logical thoughts come from in moments of insanity? They seem like small annoyances at the time, but on reflection, turn into monumental turning points. Is it God appealing to the part of my brain that still functions? Is it the fear of failure kicking in? Or is it just an excuse to keep going until I can reinvent myself one more time?

Like a drowning person whose feet reached the bottom of the lake, I pushed myself up with the last little bit of strength I had. The beginning of my new life was contained in a phone number on a scrap of paper in my wallet.

That bottom was the low point for me. While things weren’t always easier, they were never harder. And never as dark.

But in that moment, in that small room, unemployed, without cash, without prospect, without hope, and unmedicated, I pulled the torn newspaper corner from my wallet. Smudged from being in there for nearly three months, I could still read the phone number my soon-to-be ex-wife had scribbled as I left her house for the last time.

“Gerald may be able to help you,” she said.

I didn’t call. I didn’t need help… until that moment.

Gerald answered the phone and agreed to meet me, even though he didn’t know me.

Those two small moments of clarity led to a total reinvention of my life. I had no idea then that I was changing everything.

And if I had, I might have run away in fear.

But in a flash, and without knowing how to get it, I knew what I wanted:

  • Better relationships – with my children, a true life partner, and real friends
  • Independence – I no longer wanted to give control of my life to anyone else – no creditor, no employer, no customer, no one.
  • Peace – with a strong belief that world peace begins with peace in the heart of each of us, I wanted to be an example of that for others, but first, I had to experience it myself (And I was a long way from it…)

More than two decades have passed since that moment of clarity, but the goals haven’t. Sometimes, I forget, but each day I’m moving toward them.

Better relationships

kidsI didn’t know it, but those three children were all I had left in the world. All my possessions, my money and my family were gone. The only chance I had of having any relationships was to rebuild the relationships with my kids.

But I had done almost everything wrong for nearly 15 years. They had no respect for me. And there wasn’t much love left. The greatest feeling they most experienced for me was fear. How’s that for successfully fathering?

I worked diligently over the next 10 years to regain their trust and love. (I chronicle that process in Bad Dad: 10 Keys to Regaining Trust.) But it was slow going. Patience, consistency and sincerity were the keys.

A funny thing happened though: As I loved them, I became more lovable.

And I attracted wonderful friends into my life. Those friends introduced me to an incredible woman. Now, I have a relationship that I could have only dreamed of with a beautiful, talented wife!

Although I’ll never be finished, I’m much closer to achieving my relationship goal.

Independence

There are many different kinds of independence, but I was praying for financial independence. I got much more.

An insecure person (like me at that time) couldn’t handle much independence. One definition of independence is “freedom from control or influence of another.” An insecure person is always influenced by others!

I could not become independent in any way until I became more secure in my beliefs and actions.

That has been a long process, one not yet complete.

I’m still haunted by niggling little thoughts.

baddad_cover_lrgFor example, when I began writing Bad Dad, I thought, “Who am I to write this? I was a classic failure as a parent.” And even when I began writing this article, my first thought was, “Who are you kidding? People will think you’re a failure!”

Yet, I’m doing the work. That’s all that matters.

Over time, the thoughts are overcome by the new evidence, and internal security builds. It’s a matter of “acting as if” until it becomes a way of life.

Financial independence is not far away.

In 1995, I had $256,000 in unsecured debt. More than 20 years later, that debt is gone (paid off in 7 years) and now have a net worth much greater than I expected because I focused on my goals.

That’s not bragging. It’s not enough to retire on (if I ever choose to do that!) but it’s proof that change happens when I put my focus on it.

Niche to Affiliate Marketing SystemNow, I’m focusing on my online business with recurring income, that allows me to work where I want, when I want.

That’s key to my independent growth.

Building a community of friends and supporters who are creating lives of independence with their own online efforts has been a blessing. I’ve built great new relationships and continue to learn more than I teach.

That longing for independence feeds my need to improve these relationships as well as my existing relationships while building new ones.

The paradox, of course, is that the more independent I’ve become, the more interdependent I am on friends, colleagues and family.

Peace

Yes, yes . . . we all want world peace . . . ho, hum!

But really, who can change the world?

Confucius, the ancient Chinese philosopher and teacher, had a comment about this 2500 years ago that still applies today:

“To put the world in right order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.”

For selfish reasons, I want peace in my life. I want the feeling that comes when I close my eyes and know there’s a Universal presence surrounding me.davidcharlsaarizona2016jan

I want the feeling that comes when I know my heart’s right. That comes from doing right for others, or as my wife says, “being of maximum service.”

It’s a spiritual place of comfort and security. It’s a sharing with all things that reinforces my smallness in the scheme of things, but adds to my confidence that what I do matters.

Peace in me helps instill peace in you. Peace in us instills peace around us. And so on and so on. And eventually, that little ripple of peace becomes a tsunami of change where the world gets it!

All is well, and change happens.

charlsaandthecabinFinding peace led my wife and I to give up a comfortable life in middle of suburban chaos in Atlanta, GA, and head for the hills in north Alabama. A harmonic convergence of some sort, still a delightful mystery to me, allowed us to purchase 95 acres of forest with streams, waterfalls and wildlife where I built a log house with my own hands.

It’s true. We didn’t do much. But what we did was important: Created a vision, I focused on it, and stepped toward it with action.

The future appeared in front of us disguised as the present.

And it was good.

That’s how it works. Reinventing ourselves begins with a moment of clarity, a massive desire to change, a commitment to our goals, and focus and attention.

Every time. And always!

The moral of the story?

Never give up. All you need is a little clarity and a lot of determination.

People who succeed may get discouraged, but never get deterred.

We bang into locked doors until one opens.

And then, we step through like we really belonged there… because we do.

 

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The 5 Relationship Mistakes

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The 5 Mistakes To Avoid When Creating Great Business Relationships That Will Reward You For Life…

And NO! We’re not only talking about financial rewards, but that comes from great relationships too!

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A couple of years ago, While campaigning in Roanoke Virginia, Pres. Obama stirred up a lot of controversy with a business comment.

He offended many entrepreneurs by suggesting that they didn’t build their own businesses when he said…

“Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business – you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen. The Internet didn’t get invented on its own. Government research created the Internet so that all the companies could make money off the Internet.”

Entrepreneurs all over the world went crazy because they felt that he was discounting their hard work.

I didn’t.

I understood exactly what he was saying. Most people didn’t see or pay attention to the second part of the quote below:

“The point is, is that when we succeed, we succeed because of our individual initiative, but also because we do things together. There are some things, just like fighting fires, we don’t do on our own.”

Politics aside (and please don’t leave political comments below because we’ll just have to delete them), the point is that we don’t do anything alone.

Every great entrepreneur who has found lasting success will admit quickly that without relationships — business, personal, and family, no one succeeds with any degree of fulfillment in their lives.

This is a business blog so we’re going to focus on business relationships today. And with any business strategy, there are rules to building relationships in business.

We’ll focus on the 5 mistakes that we’ve uncovered (and made).trust

Even the most introverted business owner can build meaningful relationships if she avoids these mistakes.

But first you have to establish The Goal.

The goal in any relationship is to build trust with mutual respect. For  relationships to be successful, both of these elements must be present, not just one.

For example, if you have engaged with a partner on a project because you know that she has a great system, expertise and reputation in that niche, that might seem like enough to move forward with a long-term relationship.

But if she drags her feet when deadlines approach causing stress, the results will suffer.

You may decide that you respect her but don’t trust her.

There are multiple levels of business relationships.

As the captain, you’re always building a team.

Finding the right people to put on your “team” is a tricky proposition.

The team consists of:

  1. Customers
  2. Vendors
  3. Partners

Customers

One of my mentors, Alex Mandossian, said that you always need to know your top 20% of customers. They’re the ones who spend money with you because they know, like and trust you more than the rest.

They also get the most attention.

The Customer Service Target Market Support Assistance Concept

Creating a personal relationship with those special people makes sense, but you must leave little room for others to work their way into that group as well. Otherwise, the opportunity for growth in your organization is limited – even for customers.

The top 20% is important because they generate 80% of your business.

And as you build the relationship with those customers, they feel some ownership in your business. They could lose if your business isn’t around any longer to serve them.

They are not stockholders, but stakeholders.

Of course, all customers must  feel like you have their best interest at heart, and you do we hope. But your time is limited, and you can only invest real, one-on-one time in the top customer relationships.

Vendors

Who is a vendor?

This is the company that provides the infrastructure software for your business, the virtual assistant who helps you get stuff done every day, the programmer that creates your products and software, the social media manager who translates your voice into Facebook, Twitter and Instagram posts, and many other workers.

They represent you in some ways to the public or they help you access the public. These folks are incredibly important to you, and if your relationship is not good, the damage can be great.

A vendor can actually become a trusted advisor, but only after you’ve built a really strong relationship with a lot of respect and trust.

Partners

Partners  can be the lifeblood of your business. Or, they can become the bane of your existence.

In a previous business, I once had a senior sales manager who was incentivized with a 10% sales commission on top of her weekly pay.

Everything was cooking along as I had hoped and expected until one Friday afternoon, I received a phone call from her.

Business partnership and teamworkShe told me she was cleaning out her desk and would be gone by 5 o’clock that afternoon. Basically, she was walking away with half of my clients and a third of my content providers.

While I was trusting her, and giving her access to my proprietary information and systems, she was quietly stealing part of my business over a period of two months.

Today, my partners become partners with a lot more scrutiny.

Those relationships have safeguards to prevent that kind of sabotage from inside.

Great partners can become your best resources. Once trust and respect are established thoroughly, a partner can become a godsend.

NAMS was built with hundreds of partners. Affiliates, speakers, joint venture partners, instructors, and advisors were the folks who drove the engine that powered NAMS for years.

That’s one of the reasons that we believe in lifetime referral commissions. Partners promote so that we can reward them for years to come. Frankly, our business would not exist without them. So our relationship is incredibly important.

The 5 relationship mistakes that we discuss below apply to all three categories: customers, vendors and partners.

What are the 5 mistakes that we’ve uncovered?

  1. You know what they say about assumptions.
  2. Give and let give.
  3. Relationships are an 80-20 proposition.
  4. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
  5. Expect long-term relationships, otherwise what’s the point?

You know what they say about assumptions.

“Apples don’t fall far from the tree.”

“First impressions are usually correct.”

“If you want to know what your wife will be like in 30 years, look at her mother.”

“Don’t get too excited. You’ll just be disappointed.”

These and most clichés people accept as truth are ridiculous stereotypes.

We try to use judgments –  or prejudgment in most cases – as a way to protect ourselves in situations outside our comfort zone.

But if you go into a situation believing those prejudices are true, they will definitely become true.

Assuming that someone has a flawed characteristic or quality before we see it, is like walking through a field of cow patties.

You’re bound to step in one at some point, and it will confirm your belief that the world stinks.

If you assume that a person you’re trying to do business with is out to get you, then you won’t be surprised when that happens.

And you can feel self-righteous saying, “see, I knew I shouldn’t have trusted that person.”

Making assumptions about the other person is probably the fastest way to destroy a relationship quickly, or even eliminate the possibility of having a relationship.

An assumption confirms that you don’t respect them, and they should never expect you to trust them.

Making assumptions about someone automatically keeps someone at arm’s length as if you were saying, “I’m better than you, I know more than you, I’m your boss, and you’ll never be better than my expectations – which are very low.”

Give and let give.

This is the opposite of assumptions.

With this attitude, the sky’s the limit for the relationship. You’re giving the other party carte blanche.

Even though this can be a great way to find highly motivated people, not every valuable relationship is with a person who is highly motivated.

If not, the other party in the relationship can be completely freaked out.

We recently hired a project manager to run the many MyNAMS projects. As a team, we were excited to be able to work with someone who had experience, time, and it seemed a great understanding of where we want to go. She also had the proven ability to drive those projects forward.

We questioned her thoroughly. We asked if she felt like this was a good fit for her. We told her of the growth potential in the company and the job. And we laid out the responsibilities that would come along with this opportunity. And finally we told her of the bonus structure based on performance.

Essentially, she could build the job anyway she wanted as long as we met our company goals. We even told her we were concerned that she would not get the kind of career growth that she wanted with us.

She was all in. Excited. Eager to get to work.

Two weeks later, she quit. She was completely overwhelmed by our business, she said.

I was stunned that she quit. And I learned that not everyone responds positively to too much freedom.

Relationships are an 80-20 proposition.

My dad told me this about marriage and it fits here too:

“Relationships are and 80-20 proposition, and both parties give 80.”

Ok, that doesn’t make any sense, right? How can both parties give 80%?

They can’t. But they can try.

If both parties in a business relationship are all about making sure the other party is getting more from the relationship, then they are in an 80-80 relationship.

Two female friends talking at a coffee shopIt’s often represented by the question:

“How can I help today?”

When I was a consultant, I had two main clients, both VP’s at a huge Fortune 10 company. Both of those clients loved me.

The first loved “just knowing I was in the building…” because she knew that she could rely on me to dig into issues and bring back solutions and ALWAYS have her best interest at heart.

The second loved me because I always gave him a different and more simplified perspective on complex issues because he could get in the weeds pretty quickly. I stayed at the Big Picture level because that’s the perspective that served him best.

Those clients rewarded me with 17 years of consulting contracts that exploded my value to them and my family.

If that question (How can I help today?) comes from a person that you trust and respect, then you’re happy to tell them exactly how they can help you today. And tomorrow, you’ll ask them how you can help them.

Until that trust and respect is built, the question is often met with suspicion. And the answer is usually, “thanks, but I got this.”

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.

This saying rules my life:

 “If I’m not the problem, there is no solution.”

rageface400This is a radical concept to a lot of people.

Even when somebody takes advantage of you, the only person you can blame is yourself.

I know this is a hard thing to wrap your head around, especially when you’ve been wronged.

Yet, at this point you, have two choices:

  1. Get angry, blame the other party, and call your lawyer to figure out how to sue the person. That hijacks all your energy, or…
  2. Take a look at your part in the problem, and vow that you will never make that mistake again.

You are the only one that you can change.

You can’t change anyone else, even though they may need to change.

You can’t right a wrong, no matter how justified. All you can do is learn from it and move on.

So, if someone fooled one time, you can easily say no thanks to a second dose of that same mistake.

Learning from your mistakes in relationships eventually clears a path for a much happier life.

Expect long-term relationships, otherwise what’s the point?

Every engagement, every project, every hire is an opportunity to build a long-term relationship.

Short-term relationships are expensive and frustrating.

People often say to hire for specific task, let them go, and never look back.

But the consequences of that are kind of severe.

First, you’re building a reputation. The result is that you will never ever get the benefit of the doubt or the benefit of the deal from a vendor or partner or even a customer when you are bouncing from relationship to relationship.

Second, consistency and continuity suffers when you’re always looking for the next person you can use. Your business will suffer, look disjointed and confusing.

Every relationship conversation, whether it’s with customers, vendors, or partners,  should begin with the phrase, “I’m looking for long term relationships…”

And you should mean it.

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